Go The Dads!

Postby Malcy on Thu 22/May/08 10:06pm

Ok, so most know I'm a dad recently, first time arond.

Tis a nutty old time, and even with the two of us at home, it's a mission!!! I totally admire the single mums out there.

But for the dads, how did you get through the first few months? I am struggling a bit, and on the outside trying to keep it together for my partner, but the past 4 nights, only a few hours per night.

I am still working, and had the extra stress of an exam this week too. And still I truck on.

So just wondering how other dads have gotten on. :eh:
Malcy
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Member for: 16 years 0 months

Postby Oli on Thu 22/May/08 10:12pm

Shit Malcy, what can I say? You just have to hold firm to the fact that it does get better, and it's all about the baby at first.

Also, I don't want to be condescending, but always remember that no matter how tough it is for you, it's tougher for the mum...

And learn to nap when you can - it's amazing how even 20 minute micro-sleeps can re-invigorate you.

Do you guys have a good support network? If so, USE THEM.

ALL new parents think they have to do it all on their own, and that's crap. If there's help there take it. Seriously. Even if it's just Auntie Ethel bringing you some lasagna to save you cooking for a night. (Bless you, John!)

The main thing is to simply hang in there.

Take it easy, Oli
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Postby Malcy on Thu 22/May/08 10:18pm

Thanks bud.

Yeah, we have a great bunch of friends around, and I know Kaye's doing it tougher than me. We greatfully had a wonderful friend come over for about 4 hours last night to help us out.

I'm not a very good chap without the old sleep thing, so that's nailing me, but seeing Kaye last night, tears in her eyes, me feeling so wasted, baby still crying? Wow. So I did the staying up with CJ, and let Kaye sleep.

Have some great support at work too which rocks.
Malcy
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Postby Oli on Thu 22/May/08 10:21pm

Take note of the micro-sleeps tip. That will save your arse, seriously. In other words, stop posting and go to sleep! :D
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Member for: 13 years 4 months

Postby Malcy on Thu 22/May/08 10:22pm

ha ha ha, but it's feeding time.

Hey, in the middle of all this, you got time in the next week for a quick truing of my road wheels?

:D
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Postby Oli on Thu 22/May/08 10:29pm

Yep. Can you afford it? ;)
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Postby Malcy on Thu 22/May/08 10:31pm

Nope. Need a subsidy. lmao
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Postby dented on Thu 22/May/08 10:34pm

First couple of months are definitely tough. From my perspective, its like you're doing so much work, but not getting much in return.
Everything changes once the baby begins to smile, you cant believe how that can light a whole room up, and feel like it makes up for all the hard work.
With both mine, there came a time (8 weeks for 1, 11 weeks for the other), when its like a switch has literally been thrown. They suddenly realise the difference between day and night, and that one is for sleeping. They also become a lot more happier and settled when they are awake. For the first bit, its like they are either crying or feeding or sleeping.
Oli's right about the micro sleeps. I (still) catch a quick nap while waiting at a red light sometimes. Only do it when there is a car in line behind, I find they are always kind enough to beep when its time to go :D
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Postby Oli on Thu 22/May/08 10:37pm

:D

That's a very good point, Dents. Once the initial couple of months have passed and you find yourself actually interacting with your baby is a revelation - all of a sudden it becomes crystal clear why you are the parent of this child, and it all seems worthwhile...

Don't get complacent, though. Before you know it they are teenagers stealing your rum. :hmmm:
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Postby Malcy on Thu 22/May/08 10:38pm

night all
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Postby musket on Thu 22/May/08 10:40pm

sleep good malcy!
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Postby Barks on Thu 22/May/08 10:45pm

I learned to sleep through almost anything early in life. This has proved to be an invaluable skill.

As much as she hates to admit it, my wife has admitted that there's not much point to me getting up in the middle of the night. I don't lactate, and she doesn't want our little boy using bottle for as long as we can manage, so I can't really do anything for him, and get to sleep through. Even still, I'm getting 6 hours if I'm lucky, as I get home from work, help with our 4 year old, and when Kristy goes to sleep I sort out all my paperwork and clean up the kitchen and stuff.
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Postby Datsane on Thu 22/May/08 10:46pm

I rode my bike when ever I could :paranoid:

Then again I function almost normally on about 1/4 the sleep my partner does, making sure she got the sleep is much better then me getting sleep :crazy:

Not turning on the PC also helped, was about the time I stopped being a foundation member.
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Postby Owen on Thu 22/May/08 10:54pm

Oli wrote: :D

Don't get complacent, though. Before you know it they are teenagers stealing your rum. :hmmm:




:paranoid:




:)
Owen
Member for: 15 years 7 months

Postby Spokes on Thu 22/May/08 11:11pm

The first 3 months or so are hard but once your through that it gets a whole lot easier. Get a routine going and stick to it, bubs will soon work it out. Tell mum to sleep when bubs sleeps. That alone will help her heaps. My problem was I could never sleep through feeds when I needed to as I felt guilty, get over it. Sleep when you can, as Oli says 20 mins can make all the difference. Oh another important tip, try not to take plunket people to seriously as I think they take joy in making you feel bad. Listen to what mum thinks as she will mostly be right.

The fun starts when they start going to play dates or even better daycare. You will pick up ever cold bug known to man. Every dad I have spoken to says the same. :D

Dont worry after the first the rest are easy!!
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""Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake."--W.C. Fields"
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