Postby Tama on Tue 25/Dec/01 10:44pm

My flatmate is leaving roadie magazines spread around the lounge. Is this some insidious plan to make my buy one of those silly bikes with skinny tires and start shaving my scrotum?

Have people encountered this sort of attempted brainwashing before, and what's the best way of dealing with it? ???
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"Come on Ruthie let's dance"
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Postby SlackBoy on Wed 26/Dec/01 1:16pm

First Slap Chris with a soggy fish. If it was another flatmate, slap him with a dry fish just cos he rides a roadbike anyways.
Second , perhaps leaving litle hints for said offendant. Examples are:
2.You could snip half the spokes on their, thus implying that someone in the house doesn't like roadies and should be careful what they leave around.
3. Buy a can of spraypaint and spray their door with "roadie scum"
4.tease them nonstop, giving them a complex and thus stopping them from ever leaving the house in fluro lycra or setting ass on one of those stupid road bikes ever again.

There is one other option but even I would hestiate to use it. But if all else fails then this may be your only option bar moving. Call the men in white coats and committ said offender to high secuitry mental asylum (something a bit like pins). It is a very extreme measure tho and only to be used after ALL other options have been tried
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Postby Tama on Wed 26/Dec/01 7:58pm

Hmmm... When I confronted Chrispy about his strange desires he justed laughed and went back to watching the Young Ones on TV...

Perhaps I should secretly hacksaw up his roadbike when he's not looking? It's for his own good of course...
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Postby Jono on Thu 3/Jan/02 1:01am

Ok - so here are a couple of suggestions. Put a ball bearing inside the top tube of his bike - when he stops, it'll roll forward, making a nice rolling noise (and then stop with a "tink!".

Or, hang a bolt from the top of the inside of his seat post - it'll rattle, but he won't be able to work out where the noise is coming from.

In the end, the noises will drive him crazy, and he'll take up Mountainbiking exclusively, where noises are all part of the expectation. Or he'll kill everyone in his flat with a small mammal that he found on the way home - either way it'll be interesting to watch...
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Postby Fraser on Thu 3/Jan/02 7:58pm

in quiet moments around the house scream ' Why do they come to me to die!' or you could  soak his seat & lycra shorts in vics vapour rub, don't let the barstards grind you down. :angry:
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Postby Tama on Thu 3/Jan/02 9:00pm

I've heard a broomstick and Deep Heat get a more satisfying result. Can't verify that, 'cos I didn't go to those sorts of schools... :0
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Postby seamonkey on Fri 4/Jan/02 12:00am

Now look, there is nothing wrong with road riding. In fact it is quite a "hard" sport, considering when you crash you don't have much chance of hitting nice freindly dirt, but are far more likely to hit tarseal.
Then again torturing people is also nice. And Chris would seem a good candidate for abuse, being vertically challanged and a bit of a jessie.I can see why you would think a broom stick is the way to go, but for that extra abrasiveness you cant go past a stripped down gorse branch wrapped in stinging nettles.  :sneaky:
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Postby littleman on Fri 4/Jan/02 12:22pm

:satan: i know who you are sea monkey. your the only person i know to use the word jessie. and as for the broom make it full of splinters
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Postby |ncary on Sat 14/Jun/03 3:31pm

i like the bolt down the seat tube
' watch out for that pot hole guys, lets go get a decaf latte, yay!!
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