The Lost Posts Of Vorb

[Tama]

There once was a broke guy
Who had a wonderful idea
To brings riders from all places
With all kinds of faces
Together into a mountainbike site
They were thousands of boys and girls
So they could waste time at work
So they called it... Vorb (DUM DE DUM DUM DUM)

The site had been going about a year
When the software was changed
The database was a mess
The posts got transferred
To the new database
But he didn't count them
He really couldn't be arsed

Some posts were left behind (DUM DE DUM DUM DUM)
With no idea who made them
Or when they were actually posted
But they were still buried
Deep inside the site

THE LOST POSTS

[Tama]

Sorry - had to delete a couple of posts Lubie and E Dogg just made and completely fudge* things in the database.






*yes, possibly that way too.

[Tama]

If you are a regular traveller on the London Underground, here are some facts which you are going to wish you hadn't read.

During Autumn of 2000, a team of scientists at the Department of Forensics at University College London removed a row of passenger seats from a Central Line tube carriage for analysis into cleanliness. Despite London Underground's claim that the interior of their trains are cleaned on a regular basis, the scientists made some alarming discoveries.

The analysis was broken down. This is what was found on the surface of the seats:

* 4 types of hair sample (human, mouse, rat, dog)
* 7 types of insect (mostly fleas, mostly alive)
* vomit originating from at least 9 separate people
* human urine originating from at least 4 separate people
* human excrement
* rodent excrement
* human semen

When the seats were taken apart, they found:

* the remains of 6 mice
* the remains of 2 large rats
* 1 previously unheard of fungus

It is estimated that by holding one of the armrests, you are transferring, to your body, the natural oils and sweat from as many as 400 different people.

It is estimated that it is generally healthier to smoke five cigarettes a day than to travel for one hour a day on the London Underground.

It is far more hygienic to wipe your hand on the inside of a recently flushed toilet bowl before eating, than to wipe your hand on a London Underground seat before eating.

It is estimated that, within London, more work sick-days are taken because of bugs picked up whilst travelling on the London Underground than for any other reason (including alcohol).

This thread is a vertible treasure trove of useless dribbling crap

[lubie]

Sorry - had to delete a couple of posts Lubie and E Dogg just made and completely fudge* things in the database.
*yes, possibly that way too.

My bad - But this IS the best thread ever!

[Tama]

My bad - But this IS the best thread ever!

Not your fault my dear, simply part of the problem of raising 1,999 posts from the sea floor

Sorted now and Vorb should be happy and stable (well, the database should be happy and stable.)

Machado kicks ARSE - I've thrown over half a million SQL requests at it in 15 minutes and it didn't even blink.

[Tama]

Bill Gates gets hit in the face with a cream pie

Which reminds me, I really need to get Waste Time running again...

Gold!

[AarowNZ]

Bill Gates gets hit in the face with a cream pie

Which reminds me, I really need to get Waste Time running again...

Gold!

Owned!

[lubie]

VORB... had its origins in "Vaguely Organised Rides on Bikes" and has since had a range of variations including "Vagrants On Rooted Bikes".

My current fav being "Very Odd Rude Boys" (which seems to suit this message board very well.... however there is a growing list of female vorbers.. so is perhaps not totally suitable.

What i'm proposing is; we see how many variants we can come up with in this thread and then start a poll to see what we think is the most suitable one for this thing we call vorb. (Tama perhaps we could even think of a prize for the author of the winning phrase?? - y'know a free stalking or something muah ha ha ha )

I'm gonna stick with my fav (with a slight alteration) "Very Odd Rude Bikeriders" WooHoo

Bwwahahhahahahah classic!!
and the follow on "anagram" conversation is also terribly witty.
http://www.vorb.org.nz/ftopicp-3293.html#3293

[happybaboon]

I liked the bit when that guy fell on his face... heh heh...

It was kinda weird listening to Billy Jean with Nathan's Farts echoing over the soundtrack...

Prime number farting was fantastic

Have you still got that Tama?

[Tama]

I liked the bit when that guy fell on his face... heh heh...

It was kinda weird listening to Billy Jean with Nathan's Farts echoing over the soundtrack...

Prime number farting was fantastic

Have you still got that Tama?

Holy crap - I'd fully forgotten about that...

...I should see if I still have it

[happybaboon]

I liked the bit when that guy fell on his face... heh heh...

It was kinda weird listening to Billy Jean with Nathan's Farts echoing over the soundtrack...

Prime number farting was fantastic

Have you still got that Tama?

Holy crap - I'd fully forgotten about that...

...I should see if I still have it

Me too... But it was totally brilliant

[Tama]

I liked the bit when that guy fell on his face... heh heh...

It was kinda weird listening to Billy Jean with Nathan's Farts echoing over the soundtrack...

Prime number farting was fantastic

Have you still got that Tama?

Holy crap - I'd fully forgotten about that...

...I should see if I still have it

Me too... But it was totally brilliant

Have found my external hard drive I used to back up all the old Vorb permutations - we might be in luck

[Jono]

If you are a regular traveller on the London Underground, here are some facts which you are going to wish you hadn't read.

...blah blah blah

This thread is a vertible treasure trove of useless dribbling crap

...and truths from the Internet. This truth was so believed that it was published in major UK daily newspapers (I read it in the guardian while I was living there). Unfortunately, it's completely made up. UCL, when asked about it by a follow-up reporter, stated that they had never undertaken such a study...

...it turns out that someone saw the report on the 'net, saw the University College name on the report, got it printed, and then realised that it was a hoax.

Ah well. To be honest, it never really worried me that I was putting my arse on a seat that might contain all those things. I mean, it's not as if I'm eating off it or anything. Besides, it's bound to help my immune system...

[Tama]

Muwhahaha!

http://www.vorb.org.nz/about-prime_numb ... athan.html

[happybaboon]