In this thread is the first time I have hinted at that part of my life. I am probably the least violent person you will ever meet - I run from every conflict, fast. I joke about winning all my fights by 100m, but its actually pretty accurate. I dont even use the car horn against other motorists FFS. Which is why I hate the arguement "men are bigger" - it's crap, it's willingness to make another human suffer that matters (whether physical/mental - whatever).shmoodiver wrote:thorg wrote:Yep, that sounds pretty much like all victims of abuse. Hate to point this out, but you are not special, what you have just said there is what it is like for women also (in many cases).shmoodiver wrote:i have had it the other way around... when i said something about it to some of the people in my life i was laughed at.
was pretty damn oppressive and resulted in violence, yet when it went too far i was the one who was blamed.
i accept that thorg, i just hate the fact that soooooo many seem tho think it only works the other way around and are so nonchalant and dismissive when it is the bloke who is abused, even to the point of ridicule.
i haven't been in a relationship for 8 years since taking my daughter away from that shit and i still doubt myself and my trust in others.
Though you are right, society veiws men who are abused as weak, and women who are abused as victims (generally). Yep - I was weak because I refused to fight back We need to start seeing those who dont fight back as the 'strong' ones, ones who dont decend into violence - and support them to get out and get help. Until we all start seeing this as an abuse issue and laying all the blame where it lies (at teh foot of the abuser) - we will forever be going around in a sexist non productive cicrcle without a real solution.