How am I an intellectual again?

you're special oli

thorg wrote:

danose wrote:

crazychris wrote:I know several women who have been in physically abusive relationships (including my mother, twice) and the thing that gets me is that I don't know of any males in the same boat. If some skanky bitch slapped me about I'd dump her, and all the males I know would do the same.

lots of big macho talk there (which is usually making up for a physical lack somewhere else). Whilst not common, it is a two way street and I have known a person (male) who was a victim of spousal physical abuse, HTH(I'm a twerp)

First time I've admitted this in a public way; but those that know me, know someone. Bet not many would have guessed though.

She could take pretty much anyone here tho.


Most men aren't normally the victims of physical abuse by their spouses, but there will be plenty of men verbally abused. I bet everyone knows at least one person who's wife browbeats him and rules with an iron thumb

well fucking said

Now I want to know more about Throg's ex...

SlackBoy wrote:

thorg wrote:

danose wrote:

crazychris wrote:I know several women who have been in physically abusive relationships (including my mother, twice) and the thing that gets me is that I don't know of any males in the same boat. If some skanky bitch slapped me about I'd dump her, and all the males I know would do the same.

lots of big macho talk there (which is usually making up for a physical lack somewhere else). Whilst not common, it is a two way street and I have known a person (male) who was a victim of spousal physical abuse, HTH(I'm a twerp)

First time I've admitted this in a public way; but those that know me, know someone. Bet not many would have guessed though.

She could take pretty much anyone here tho.


Most men aren't normally the victims of physical abuse by their spouses, but there will be plenty of men verbally abused. I bet everyone knows at least one person who's wife browbeats him and rules with an iron thumb

and yet if it's the other way around...

Ex!!!, I thought we were talking about Paula. She's a HARD woman that one

shmoodiver wrote:

SlackBoy wrote:
Most men aren't normally the victims of physical abuse by their spouses, but there will be plenty of men verbally abused. I bet everyone knows at least one person who's wife browbeats him and rules with an iron thumb

and yet if it's the other way around...

Then its the other way round.
Whats your point?

i have had it the other way around... when i said something about it to some of the people in my life i was laughed at.
was pretty damn oppressive and resulted in violence, yet when it went too far i was the one who was blamed.

My 2c, any man who thinks it's ok to lay a hand on a woman for any reason is a coward and deserves everything he gets.
If you cannot exercise enough restraint to walk away then you need serious help.....
No matter what she looks like, women are not punching bags (even the really ugly ones) and are not built to withstand contact sports with men. Men are simply built stronger, so what they think "wasn't that hard really.....I'd hit a mate harder" can do a hell of a lot of damage. Not only physical either, and that makes them all that much more dangerous.
Women take on a lot more than a bruise..... it affects them emotionally, mentally and affects them for life.
One moment in a mans day, becomes a point in a womans life she will never, and can never forget. It will take her a long time to get past it. Thats not fair in any book....


From the other side, any man who allows a woman to browbeat him to the point where it is abuse in any form, mental, emotional or physical also needs just as much help......
If a man doesn't have enough self-esteem to remove himself from that situation, then he needs to see a counsellor and fast!

SlackBoy wrote:Ex!!!, I thought we were talking about Paula. She's a HARD woman that one

Damn right - I don't need to resort to violence, I just threaten to withhold brownies & other such goodies...

thecharmed01 wrote:My 2c, any man who thinks it's ok to lay a hand on a woman for any reason is a coward and deserves everything he gets.
If you cannot exercise enough restraint to walk away then you need serious help.....
No matter what she looks like, women are not punching bags (even the really ugly ones) and are not built to withstand contact sports with men. Men are simply built stronger, so what they think "wasn't that hard really.....I'd hit a mate harder" can do a hell of a lot of damage. Not only physical either, and that makes them all that much more dangerous.
Women take on a lot more than a bruise..... it affects them emotionally, mentally and affects them for life.
One moment in a mans day, becomes a point in a womans life she will never, and can never forget. It will take her a long time to get past it. Thats not fair in any book....


From the other side, any man who allows a woman to browbeat him to the point where it is abuse in any form, mental, emotional or physical also needs just as much help......
If a man doesn't have enough self-esteem to remove himself from that situation, then he needs to see a counsellor and fast!

I call bullshit.

Any PERSON who thinks it is ok to lay a hand on another PERSON is a coward.

Men are also not punching bags.

not all men are big strong - plenty of women are bigger and stronger, or have had fight training etc. It is NOT size that matters, it is the will to hit. many suffer physical abuse from people half their size.

men take on more than bruises also.

Stop seperating this out - ABUSE IS ABUSE

shmoodiver wrote:i have had it the other way around... when i said something about it to some of the people in my life i was laughed at.
was pretty damn oppressive and resulted in violence, yet when it went too far i was the one who was blamed.

Yep, that sounds pretty much like all victims of abuse. Hate to point this out, but you are not special, what you have just said there is what it is like for women also (in many cases).

thorg wrote:

shmoodiver wrote:i have had it the other way around... when i said something about it to some of the people in my life i was laughed at.
was pretty damn oppressive and resulted in violence, yet when it went too far i was the one who was blamed.

Yep, that sounds pretty much like all victims of abuse. Hate to point this out, but you are not special, what you have just said there is what it is like for women also (in many cases).

i accept that thorg, i just hate the fact that soooooo many seem tho think it only works the other way around and are so nonchalant and dismissive when it is the bloke who is abused, even to the point of ridicule.

i haven't been in a relationship for 8 years since taking my daughter away from that shit and i still doubt myself and my trust in others.