The Roadie Postwhore Thread

Postby jeremyb on Fri 5/May/06 12:58pm

To avoid those recurring questions that appear in most forums I think we should put down all the 'need to know' stuff in one place, i.e. Fashion, Training, etc

I've made this post a sticky so it will sit up at the top of the road forum.

- Arm warmers don't go over your sleeves, tuck them under.

- Never reveal the truth behind shaving your legs, always answer with the standard massage / road rash answer.

- Full discovery kit and beer gut is ok! ..... NOT!

- Underwear under lycra shorts is a bad idea, wear them over your lycra shorts if you must.

- Full length tights are gay, even on Ivan Basso, so wear them at night when no one can recognise you.

- Get a heart rate monitor... and a copy of Lances performance program book

- Don't draft and not do your turn out the front.

- Team gear is cool, but don't wear it to a race unless you're in that team.

- What should I carry on a ride? pump, either CO2 or frame pump, spare tubes, patches, mini tool, tyre levers, cash and keys, drink and food.
Last edited by jeremyb on Tue 9/May/06 7:17am, edited 1 time in total.
jeremyb
"www.derailled.co.nz - New Zealand Cycling Forum"
Member for: 14 years 9 months

Postby Stun on Fri 5/May/06 1:00pm

And to say to newbies / non-lycra wearers:

Mountain bikers wear baggies 'cos they have to hide the fact they have small wangers...
Stun
Member for: 14 years 9 months

Postby jeremyb on Fri 5/May/06 1:04pm

True, thanks stu.

- Baggies for mtb, lycra for roadieing!
jeremyb
"www.derailled.co.nz - New Zealand Cycling Forum"
Member for: 14 years 9 months

Re: The Roadie Bible - A Reference Guide For Newbs

Postby danose on Fri 5/May/06 1:14pm

_jb_ wrote:
Arm warmers don't go over your sleeves, tuck them under.


nope - LEG warmers go under shorts (to stop them creeping down) but arm
warmers go over the top of sleeves (so you can pull them down on the climbs
and then pull them back up for the descent).

- Full length tights are gay, even on Ivan Basso, so wear them at night when no one can recognise you.


:cool: I'm sexually secure enough to wear tights (even bright blue banesto ones) in daylight :cool: well that and the fact my knees are old and shot and like to be kept warm
danose
User avatar
"I've never met a hill I didn't like"
Member for: 13 years 5 months

Postby jeremyb on Fri 5/May/06 1:16pm

Sorry Danose, I'm calling the fashion police, arm warmers definately under sleeves!!
jeremyb
"www.derailled.co.nz - New Zealand Cycling Forum"
Member for: 14 years 9 months

Postby Stun on Fri 5/May/06 1:21pm

How about under the sleeves for flat rides, over them for hill rides?
Then other roadies can easily see what type of ride you're on...
Stun
Member for: 14 years 9 months

Postby danose on Fri 5/May/06 1:22pm

Stun wrote: How about under the sleeves for flat rides, over them for hill rides?
Then other roadies can easily see what type of ride you're on...


does this mean I'm required to have one sleeve under and one sleeve over when I'm doing long bays? :blink:
danose
User avatar
"I've never met a hill I didn't like"
Member for: 13 years 5 months

Re: The Roadie Bible - A Reference Guide For Newbs

Postby thekiwi on Fri 5/May/06 1:23pm

_jb_ wrote: To avoid those recurring questions that appear in most forums I think we should put down all the 'need to know' stuff in one place, i.e. Fashion, Training, etc

I've made this post a sticky so it will sit up at the top of the road forum.

- Arm warmers don't go over your sleeves, tuck them under.


Sorry ... not for me.
Arm warmers over top of sleeves ...
a) My arms arent big enough to keep them up so need all the xtra padding I can get
b) If I need to get them back up, they go back over top
Last edited by thekiwi on Fri 5/May/06 1:23pm, edited 1 time in total.
thekiwi
User avatar
"A bad day of riding beats a good day at the office"
Member for: 12 years 9 months

Postby rachelr on Fri 5/May/06 1:23pm

Stun wrote: How about under the sleeves for flat rides, over them for hill rides?
Then other roadies can easily see what type of ride you're on...


why not a hanky code while you're at it? That way you know whether you can draft behind someone or if you should go in front ;)

and you have a hanky for when your nose gets sniffly from the cold
Last edited by rachelr on Fri 5/May/06 1:27pm, edited 1 time in total.
rachelr
User avatar
Member for: 12 years 0 months

Postby XCrider on Fri 5/May/06 1:24pm

thanks for that jb but full legth tights are not gay and arm warmers go under the sleeve :cool:
XCrider
User avatar
Member for: 14 years 0 months

Postby jeremyb on Fri 5/May/06 1:25pm

Hmmm, once I have to put them on I leave them on, up or down :blush:
jeremyb
"www.derailled.co.nz - New Zealand Cycling Forum"
Member for: 14 years 9 months

Postby jeremyb on Fri 5/May/06 1:26pm

XCrider wrote: thanks for that jb but full legth tights are not gay


*cough* yeah right!
xcrider.jpeg
jeremyb
"www.derailled.co.nz - New Zealand Cycling Forum"
Member for: 14 years 9 months

Postby thekiwi on Fri 5/May/06 1:28pm

_jb_ wrote:
XCrider wrote: thanks for that jb but full legth tights are not gay


*cough* yeah right!


But its not the tights that are the problem there ... its the haircut!!!
thekiwi
User avatar
"A bad day of riding beats a good day at the office"
Member for: 12 years 9 months

Postby danose on Fri 5/May/06 1:29pm

rachelr wrote:
why not a hanky code while you're at it? That way you know whether you can draft behind someone or if you should go in front ;)


wanger hanging out of left leg of shorts - pull through you wheelsucking scumbag

wanger hanging out of right leg of shorts - sit in if you like but don't get in front, I'm doing tt training

wanger out top of short and wrapped around neck 3 times - hi, my names JB, do you like sausages?
danose
User avatar
"I've never met a hill I didn't like"
Member for: 13 years 5 months

Postby rachelr on Fri 5/May/06 1:31pm

_jb_ wrote:
XCrider wrote: thanks for that jb but full legth tights are not gay


*cough* yeah right!


you can't use that as decisive evidence - he has other gheyzzor things happening that make it difficult to determine just how gay the tights are in and of themselves..

after all he's wearing a tshirt tucked into the tights, over a polo shirt with the collar sticking out and there's some clashing colour action going on.
How can you point to that and say "ahh it's the tights that arre gay?"
rachelr
User avatar
Member for: 12 years 0 months

Cycling | Road Cycling - Latest Posts

Who is online

56 Users browsing this website: DotBot, Google [Bot] and 52 guests

REMEBER TO CLICK THE LINKS WHEN BUYING FROM VORB SUPPORTERS


  • Vorb Shop
  • Wiggle
  • Chain Reaction Cycles
  • GT Bicycles
  • Merlin Cycles
  • ProBikeKit
  • Torpedo7