New Zealand Wanker Sweepstakes 2010

happybaboon · *by **happybaboon** on Mon 4/Oct/10 11:17pm*

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Who is this years peoples champion of vigourous and repeated self-love?

A couple of new names on this years list, with David Garrett joining former boss Rodney Hide amongst the nominees . Mr Garrett has requested that his nomination be under his own name, rather than under one of his stolen identities. Due to popular demand Hone Harawira has joined his buddies from Parliament. Perennial wanking favourite Michael Laws rounds out the politicians on the list. Media wanker Paul Henry is a clear favourite to add this prize to his already considerable awards haul. Last years winner Brian Tamaki remains an option despite his quiet year on the wanking front. Part time Whaleoil blogger and full time wanker Cameron Slater is the final addition, added via wildcard thanks to his wanking victory in the Auckland District Court regional wanker sweepstakes.

The Bish won by a landslide in 2009, but some commentators feel his wanking has dried up, or at least fallen out of the public eye since his victory last year. The other nominees from last years ceremony have all undeniably upped their wanking game, presumably in an effort to secure this prestigious prize.

Members of the Academy have been asked to select their TWO top choices, so that a consensus as to who is the true Champion of Champions of Wanking is reached.

wuffy · *by **wuffy** on Mon 4/Oct/10 11:32pm*

What about me? I'm not wank enough? :cry:

happybaboon · *by **happybaboon** on Mon 4/Oct/10 11:34pm*

Sorry Wuffy. I'm sure you are a wanker, but this pole is only for wankers who have a nationally known profile.

its that guy · *by **its that guy** on Mon 4/Oct/10 11:44pm*

happybaboon wrote:only for wankers who have a nationally known profile.

Don't encourage him! :lol:

wuffy · *by **wuffy** on Mon 4/Oct/10 11:56pm*

happybaboon wrote:Sorry Wuffy. I'm sure you are a wanker, but this pole is only for wankers who have a nationally known profile.

Is that a challenge? :satan:

happybaboon · *by **happybaboon** on Tue 5/Oct/10 12:03am*

Sure. Why the fuck not.

wachtourak · *by **wachtourak** on Tue 5/Oct/10 6:54am*

Happybaboon.

pb · *by pb on Tue 5/Oct/10 8:07am*

Paul Henry puts his hand up again: http://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/tv ... -was-wrong

sifter · *by **sifter** on Tue 5/Oct/10 8:10am*

I don't see John Key on the list?

kiwi_zg · *by **kiwi_zg** on Tue 5/Oct/10 9:52am*

Chris Carter
John Banks

Henry Dorset Case · *by **Henry Dorset Case** on Tue 5/Oct/10 10:00am*

where is the "All of the above" option?

happybaboon · *by **happybaboon** on Tue 5/Oct/10 10:42am*

Key misses out because, intermingled with his exceptional wanking, he does some acceptable and possibly even productive work. That disqualifies him immediately. Carter and Banks, while clearly capable of exceptional displays of wanking, just haven't wanked enough - there have been isolated incidents of extreme wanking from both, but they don't have the consistant dedication to wanking displayed by the other nominees.

"All of the above" wouldn't really work. You can't give a prize to everyone without destroying the value of the prize.