Help Me Apply My Chamois Cream!

mfw · *by **mfw** on Tue 9/Nov/10 4:04pm*

Help, I have just purchased my first chamois cream and need advice on how to apply it!

I have never suffered from saddle sores, but my longest ride to date is 8 hours. This weekend I will be doing a 14 hour training ride and the following weekend the Brevet (36 hours) so I figured it was time to break my chamois cream virginity, so:

Where do you apply it, chamois, skin or both?

How much do you put on?

How often do you re-apply?

Any young ladies fancy doing a demonstration for me?

Henry Dorset Case · *by **Henry Dorset Case** on Tue 9/Nov/10 4:09pm*

ewwwwwwwwwwwwww

just ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww

jeyboi · *by **jeyboi** on Tue 9/Nov/10 4:16pm*

Google it.

happybaboon · *by **happybaboon** on Tue 9/Nov/10 4:17pm*

Stick a big glob of it up your nus. Like, prolly about 150g of it for a 10 hour ride. As it warms up down there, it'll trickle out at just the right rate.

:paranoid:

Scaredy_Cat · *by **Scaredy_Cat** on Tue 9/Nov/10 4:18pm*

Henry Dorset Case wrote:ewwwwwwwwwwwwww

just ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Just in case you are serious:

Both

Lots - it should feel really uncomfortable/odd when you walk

After 12 hours or so

I'm pretty sure you wouldn't find that nearly as much fun as you might think.

Also - I'd suggest a trial ride of an hour or so first to make sure your skin is 'happy' with the product, rather than slathering it over your nether regions for the first time then heading out for 14 hours... :exclaim:

Edit - Babs - EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! :cry:

happybaboon · *by **happybaboon** on Tue 9/Nov/10 4:20pm*

What? Am I doing it wrong? :eh:

jeyboi · *by **jeyboi** on Tue 9/Nov/10 4:21pm*

Chamois cream is for pros only IMO.

I just use vegemite.

kona.stinky. · *by **kona.stinky.** on Tue 9/Nov/10 4:37pm*

jeyboi wrote:Chamois cream is for pros only IMO.

I just use vegemite.

Or nutella.

Toko · *by **Toko** on Tue 9/Nov/10 7:15pm*

1. put your shorts half on

2. liberally apply chamois cream to the chamois

3. put shorts all the way on and wiggle the chamois around a bit to distribute the cream

Sure beats squirting some on your fingers then messin' with your scrotanus.

Mr_Jolly · *by **Mr_Jolly** on Tue 9/Nov/10 7:26pm*

hilarious!! srotanus and nus...my wife now thinks I'm nuts as I have tears running down me face!!

mfw · *by **mfw** on Wed 10/Nov/10 6:34am*

Tks for the advice guys, I knew it would create a reaction but it was a serious post!
I'll let you know how I get on - with before and after pics only joking

cooper770 · *by **cooper770** on Wed 10/Nov/10 9:17am*

at last , someone brave enough to ask the un-askable.....

me, I warm it up in the sun then paint it on the cham with a 6inch paint brush. the brush can tickle a bit if your not careful but it can also put a smile on your face if done right..

but seriously, I've found that a good thick layer on the edges of the seam and down the centre seems to work, when you pull the shorts on and sit on the bike it tends to find its own 'level' and fills into the potential chaffing areas.

mfw · *by **mfw** on Mon 15/Nov/10 4:20pm*

mfw wrote:I'll let you know how I get on - with before and after pics

Just one word:

I'm now in the know about 'that which we don't talk about' :cool:

It's just temporary glue really. The amazing thing is it goes on a big pasty mess then you take your shorts off at the end and - as if by magic - it's all gone :crazy:

Velocipedestrian · *by **Velocipedestrian** on Mon 15/Nov/10 4:26pm*

BEST THREAD EVER
:baaa:

MattV · *by **MattV** on Mon 15/Nov/10 4:57pm*

I always thought you put your shorts on, stretched them open and tipped a whole container on your junk. :huh:

Help Me Apply My Chamois Cream!

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