Postby Hoz on Wed 23/Jan/02 11:43am

Excellent :D ....that got a great laugh out of this fella
Hoz
Member for: 15 years 9 months

Postby Tama on Wed 23/Jan/02 12:11pm

from "Umbrella Planet"
Attack Alarm Umbrella

This unique 23.5 inch telescopic frame features a 90 decibel alarm to ward off attackers and a torch built into the handle.

We are not currently socking this item but we can order it specially if you require more than 1000.


We are not currently socking this item....  ???
... Anyway, what the hell would you do with 1000 Attack Alarm Umbrella's - invade a really wet country? defend your own country by building attack alarm umbrella emplacements on the beaches?

I don't get it...  :eh:
Tama
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"Come on Ruthie let's dance"
Member for: 15 years 9 months

Postby CrustyPVC on Wed 23/Jan/02 12:22pm

Shit, I'll pop up and see Helen. I sure she'll be interested in these. I mean they will at least give NZ some aerial cover. :) and they can't be anywhere nears as expensive as a F-16, or skyhawk maintenance for that matter.
CrustyPVC
Member for: 15 years 9 months

Postby Hoz on Wed 23/Jan/02 12:23pm

attach them to skyrockets and send them into space as a budget version of gwb's star wars

the torch would be useful cos it's really really dark out there

just have to find a thousand idiots to strap onto the whole contraption when lighting the fuse

of course you(or your very small and broke country with no defense budget to speak of......ah yes, NZ it is) would have to repeat the exercise over and over.....the maximum altitude attained by the said skyrocket would still place said low-level early warning system within the earths gravitational pull....but the brolly would act as a parachute allowing the said idiot to drift gradually back to earth

lightweights only need apply for the idiot position...that rules out a meat sammie built clydesdale like me but Littleman would fit the bill nicely :D

he could even take the 3B cream along to keep himself entertained during the flight :eh:
Hoz
Member for: 15 years 9 months

Postby Jono on Thu 24/Jan/02 6:39am

Back when the navy was joining it's "join the navy. At least we have boats. Not like that airforce - they don't even have planes" advertisments, there was a shot of a frigate firing a missile.

I used to tell viccles "look - there goes our missile"  :sneaky:
Jono
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"High Grade Mental Defective"
Member for: 15 years 9 months

Postby Hoz on Thu 24/Jan/02 8:39am

yeah that's right they only had one and they couldn't even afford to arm it :D

I actually always suspected that was ex US Navy film footage from Vietnam.....not a Kiwi aboard.....the boat looked too good to be one of ours(ie too big...no outboard on the back) :D
Hoz
Member for: 15 years 9 months

Postby Nathan on Thu 24/Jan/02 12:37pm

Yeah will here is a good one. The army purchased a shit load of suface to air missles, but the government said they could not buy the guidence system for it yet. So why did they not buy less missles and purchase some Guidence systems you ask? :eh: Well Helen is a ugly bitch is why and the ugliness stops her brain from working  :withstupid:

So now our boys and girls in green run around with these hi-tech Javlins :blush:
Nathan
Member for: 15 years 9 months

Postby CrustyPVC on Thu 24/Jan/02 1:05pm

That's right, as the saying goes "Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes through to the bone" So I guess this must affect her judgement.
CrustyPVC
Member for: 15 years 9 months

Postby Jono on Thu 24/Jan/02 9:39pm

Not wanting to get political or anything (especially here), but I would more think that the guidance system screwup was either someone in the Ministry of Defence trying to play chicken with their bosses (we've bought part a with all of our budget, the government will have to approve part b now), or someone within the army not thinking beyond the immediate...
Jono
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"High Grade Mental Defective"
Member for: 15 years 9 months

Postby CrustyPVC on Fri 25/Jan/02 8:28am

:eh:
Do you seriously believe that? and that is was not a screw up because Helen is a ugly bitch.
:baaa:
CrustyPVC
Member for: 15 years 9 months

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