I gots to thinking I did. Endurance sport takes up a lot of time. This must surely put strain on marital relations, especially if you work full time. I know personally my lady is very supportive of my sports, but she warns me I'm not allowed to do Ironman anytime soon . Do you lads find that the sport distances you from the non-endurance community, or is finding a balance easy for you? Its a topic thats always interested me, especially w.r.t triathlon, as they can appear to be (and arguably are) quite selfish sports.

define selfish?

sure training for am IM takes a lot of time, but does having a partner who demands you be at their beck and call not also seem a little selfish too? ( on their part )

I guess I'm a little fortunate as my good lady also likes the long stuff, sometimes we train together, other times because of speed differences we train separately. We still get plenty of 'us' time though

it is all about balance. family, work and cycling. and what level you to be able to compete at.... for example to be able to in amongst it in A grade races i need to find 9-10 hrs a week to train, and so a matter of how i fit that in through commuting, lunch time rides and nite sessions on the trainer. If you want it enough, you find a way. It's when you lose the passsion to compete, or in most cases i guess complete, that it seems like too much hard work.

Heh. I voted for the last option on behalf of my husband

slidecontrol wrote:define selfish?

sure training for am IM takes a lot of time, but does having a partner who demands you be at their beck and call not also seem a little selfish too? ( on their part )

I guess I'm a little fortunate as my good lady also likes the long stuff, sometimes we train together, other times because of speed differences we train separately. We still get plenty of 'us' time though

Well its not so much just the amount of time it takes to train, but also the time around it. I find when i'm training hard that if i'm not training, i'm either sleeping or eating. It's only really on my rest days that i'm useful for anything. I fit it in around Uni, which is a lot less demanding than full-time work. Maybe its just long distance stuff, you're pretty lucky to find a lady who can go out and train with you, that'd be tops.

having time pressures does make you more focused. and my training is targetted.. i don't have the time for "just riding", pretty much every time i jump on a bike it has a training purpose. i am either riding hard.. or not riding.

I would say it's very social. On the rare occasions I've participated, after about the 3hour mark my mind fragments into four different personalities and we have had a great time.

Joel wrote:having time pressures does make you more focused. and my training is targetted.. i don't have the time for "just riding", pretty much every time i jump on a bike it has a training purpose. i am either riding hard.. or not riding.

Ahhh, yeah I say "training hard", perhaps i should have said "full training", like when i'm able to train all 3 codes. Over winter I've had a hard time of it due to injury/sickness, but yeah not a lot of point going out for training and just ambling around.

radiusq wrote:I would say it's very social. On the rare occasions I've participated, after about the 3hour mark my mind fragments into four different personalities and we have had a great time.

Hahaha, I like that.

Lynskey wrote:

slidecontrol wrote:define selfish?

sure training for am IM takes a lot of time, but does having a partner who demands you be at their beck and call not also seem a little selfish too? ( on their part )

I guess I'm a little fortunate as my good lady also likes the long stuff, sometimes we train together, other times because of speed differences we train separately. We still get plenty of 'us' time though

Well its not so much just the amount of time it takes to train, but also the time around it. I find when i'm training hard that if i'm not training, i'm either sleeping or eating. It's only really on my rest days that i'm useful for anything. I fit it in around Uni, which is a lot less demanding than full-time work. Maybe its just long distance stuff, you're pretty lucky to find a lady who can go out and train with you, that'd be tops.

i find periodising the training helps, for the bulk of my IM prep, its largely easy efforts, If I go long, its at a silly easy pace to conditioning for 'time in the saddle/on my feet' and the harder efforts are greatly reduced in duration, both allowing for faster recoveries. there's only a 2-3 week period in an IM buildup where I become a bit useless, and that's in the final phase just before the taper starts. Its still a big drain on time partner, but not as bad as the every time all the time training method some of the guys around me engage in.

like you say, its all about balance. [ I am aware that with a shift in focus, my race results could improve however]

For a number of months(from Daylight savings end untill early August) this year I was getting up at 4.15AM to put in 40kms riding, then coming home, showering, breakfasting etc to be out the door at 6.45ish to head to (usually) South Auckland (from West) to get to work in good time.

It left me pretty tuckered out in the evenings but at least I could fit in training (not good quality though), work and family in one day.

I can imagine training for a specific event is better – even if it is IM as there is a specific time when it will be finished so that one’s spouse and children can then have dad or mum back again rather than for a race season that drags on.

psychavoc wrote:Heh. I voted for the last option on behalf of my husband

I heard his wife was not to bad at endurance events also when she's not broken

I has a wife who is better endurance events than me, so I support her every inch of the way the best I can and the more she puts into it the more I want to support her........

I believe it takes team work for an indivual to succeed at Endurance sports

ryda wrote:

psychavoc wrote:Heh. I voted for the last option on behalf of my husband

I heard his wife was not to bad at endurance events also when she's not broken

I has a wife who is better endurance events than me, so I support her every inch of the way the best I can and the more she puts into it the more I want to support her........

I believe it takes team work for an indivual to succeed at Endurance sports

True, true, and true again

Boys like Ryda and Scotty set a high bar for prospects

I'm of the opinion that IM can be a fucking selfish 'sport'. Largely because many of the people who do it seem to do it for the wrong reasons, while at the upper end of the elite / age group levels there's a high degree of micromanagement and control exerted that if spread to the relationship can be very destructive. I know one coach I really respect - the first question he asks of people wanting to do IM is "why?" - he finds a high percentage of people don't know, and he declines to coach those people.

My girl is an elite athlete, spends up to 9 months a year overseas. When we're together, she trains (and we can train together, once I get back on my feet after the fucking glandular fever). We've talked about it a great deal, and I think one of the keys is to be very, very honest about what you're doing and what your goal is - and what you're prepared to pay for that. It's a dynamic, so not as simple as I'll give up this for you to do that - (I could diverge here in to all the reasons why professional individual / small team sport is so hard, and what can be done, but it's off topic.

She's also very aware of the fact that travelling the world racing is not "normal" life - so she hasn't lost touch with her friends and family who are living "normal" lives. We've also discussed that things will be a bit different when she's not traveling so much, and we're spending more time together (post 2012, so a wee way off).

On the other hand, I know a lot of middle aged guys of marginal fitness who have decided to do ironman, and essentially sacrificed their family life for 9+ months.

Like others, I think it can help if you're able to assist, and that's worked for us - my specialty is managing teams and athletes, hers is tearing legs off. For many people though, that's not an option, and I've seen a lot of people (mainly guys) struggle with that and overstepping their "role". I'm very conscious that my girl has access to a world class coach, team manager, physio, Doctor, sports psychologist, soigneur and mechanic, which means when I'm not asked, I try very hard not to step in to any of those roles.

The key is to understand the what, the why, and the how, and define your roles in relation to each. There's a point where one or the other may not be worth it, and that occasions some hard choices indeed.

Joel wrote:having time pressures does make you more focused. and my training is targetted.. i don't have the time for "just riding", pretty much every time i jump on a bike it has a training purpose. i am either riding hard.. or not riding.

That is the most depressing post Ive read in a long while